I am still me
I am still me
This post was first published here: https://www.feeltoheal.live/feel-to-heal-blog/i-am-still-me
Student Spotlight: Laura Haraka
In June of 2001, I left my job as a Mathematics teacher after 8 years. I was 7 months pregnant with my first child. When I pulled out of the parking lot of Bloomfield High School I was so relieved that I would not have to go back into the classroom again. I was excited to stay home and raise my child. I did not care if it was a girl or a boy. I was just so thrilled to be a mom. I couldn’t wait to walk my child to school with all the other moms, go to soccer practice, swimming lessons, or whatever my child chose to do. I gave birth to my daughter Anna. It was stressful to be a stay-at-home mom but it was great too. I loved our alone time when she fell asleep in my arms. I loved that new baby smell.
Three years later, I gave birth to my second daughter, Emily. I was busy running around with two children. We had play-dates, music and dance class, and plenty of walks in the park. Over the years I was a class mom, HSA treasurer, and HSA President which filled my days along with after school activities. My daughter Emily was on a travel soccer team and on the weekends, we traveled throughout the state of NJ. I was exhausted but I loved every minute of it. My older daughter was a cheerleader so we spent Friday nights at the Football field.
It really went so fast. I blinked and where did the time go. I will always remember the day that the kids were both in school full time and I needed to do something for myself - like a job. My husband said to me, “Why don’t you take a year off and do some things for yourself and then start to look for something?” I agreed that it was a good idea. Do things for me? That would be weird. About 1 week later, I started having pelvic pain which led to a 5 year journey of healing. Now looking back there was a lot of fear regarding what I was going to do with my life. After my pain went down, I tried going back to teaching but I really did not like it. Things were not the same as they used to be. The technology was scary! I was petrified. I felt like I entered a time warp. I was a trained teacher. So if I was not going to go into teaching then what was I going to do.
It is pretty scary to try and reinvent yourself at 49 years old. Did I really want to invest financially in myself at a time when we needed money to send my kids to college. Would I be good at anything else? I cried a lot. My anxiety was through the roof. I was terrified. What if I failed? Little by little and step by step, I gathered evidence and did research on what would be right for me. I decided to become a Somatic therapist since somatic therapy was one of the modalities I used to get better. I also wanted to become a breathwork facilitator since that had a huge impact on my recovery. Well, I am doing it. I now have my own business and I am slowly building it.
What I realized is I really am not reinventing myself. Yes, I am changing a career but I am still me. I am strong, courageous, determined and motivated. I have love, kindness, and compassion to share. I have lessons to teach. These things are me. I didn’t have to reinvent who I was. I just needed to hone into the skills I already had. You will never go wrong when you know who you are and utilize your gifts. When you honor yourself with love, grace and faith, the opportunities will come.
About Laura
Laura Haraka is a a proud mother of two teenage girls, a Chronic Pain Practitioner and Mind-Body Coach, Certified Somatic Therapist and Breathwork facilitator.
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