How Breathing Saved My Life
How Breathing Saved My Life
Student Spotlight: Heather Douglas
This article was first published here: https://sway.office.com/LyRwuPWLtpB0PXFq?ref=Link&loc=play
TRIGGER WARNING: Thoughts of suicide
In March 2020, 3 weeks before the country was locked down for the first time, I gave birth to my daughter Lara in a planned homebirth. After we’d had some skin to skin and Lara had fed for the first time I was checked over and told everything was fine. I felt like I had luckily escaped unscathed, and I was under the impression my recovery would be fairly quick and easy. Oh, how wrong I was.
Getting Worse
Fast forward a couple of weeks and I was in pain. It didn’t make sense as ‘everything was fine’ so I hid my head in the sand and thought the problem would resolve itself. It didn’t. In May 2020, I was diagnosed with tears in my pelvic muscles and within months (despite treatment) the pain progressed, and it was present nearly all the time. At times I could barely walk and sometimes I could barely stand up long enough to make a cup of tea.
I spent 2 years getting treatment in various forms including specialist women’s health physiotherapy, Bowen therapy and Myofascial Release. I would have periods when certain treatments seemed to work only for the pain to return days / weeks / months later.
After months and months of the various therapies, I realised they just weren’t working. I had spent thousands trying to get myself better and it seemed like a waste of money. I resigned myself to the fact that I would never recover; this was my life now. My world shrunk and I became depressed and at times I wanted to die. I didn’t want to live life this way as I couldn’t enjoy myself and I wasn’t the parent that I wanted to be. Nearly all enjoyment in my life was gone. My pain was interfering with my work. I thankfully had a very understanding manager who supported me as best as he could, but it took its toll on me, always feeling guilty for taking time away from my desk so I could rest. I spent my evenings massaging, meditating, and stretching. I felt like I had exhausted all avenues. I was ready to give up. I didn’t want to keep going.
But I did keep going and my luck was about to change.
Introduction to Breathwork
On May 23rd, 2022, I received an offer that I will never forget. A very good friend of mine had seen an article in The Guardian written by John Crace about how Breathwork had helped him with his mental health struggles. My friend offered to pay for a session with Alan Dolan, the Breathwork coach mentioned in the article. He told me he just had this feeling that it was going to help me.
In the 3 weeks leading up to my appointment, I was nervous. I didn’t know how I was going to get to London and the thought of travelling down filled me with dread. Sitting for long periods of time was difficult and I worried I wouldn’t be able to make it, or I’d turn up to Alan’s session in agony and unable to partake. I made a plan and kept telling myself that when Monday 13th June rolled around, I would be having a ‘good day’ and I would make it to London without any issues.
Monday 13th of June was luckily a ‘good day’ and as I nervously waited on the Belgravia street for my appointment, I wondered what was ahead of me. When it was time, I went inside and met the man who (I didn’t realise at the time) would change my life. Prior to my appointment, I had been given instructions to watch some free videos and complete two sessions of breathwork at home – so I knew what I was doing, or there-abouts. The practice was called Conscious Connected Breathing.
At the beginning of the session, we chatted for about 10 minutes, before he got me into position, and I started to breathe (as I had been instructed). Alan talked me through the session in what felt like a personal guided meditation. He also used his hands to apply pressure on certain areas of my body to ‘release the stored energy’. At the end of the session, Alan advised me to keep up with daily breathwork sessions of at least 10 minutes.
After the session I felt lighter, happier, and I was excited about what had happened and what was to come. I went home feeling positive. I could never, though, have imagined the lasting impact that the session would have.
Getting better
The days that followed were, unusually, stress-free. Things that would usually get me worked-up didn’t. And, most importantly, my pain was gone. Completely gone. I found it hard to believe. I kept wondering when it would return but so far, it hasn’t.
I have kept up with daily breathwork since our appointment and I feel better than ever. I am more relaxed; I have more patience and I’m calmer. I have got my freedom back. I can sit, walk, jump (my daughter loves trampolining) and I enjoy daily life again, without the fear of pain. I’m happy again.
Conscious connected breathing has many benefits, such as:
Alleviate anxiety and depression, and reduce stress, worry, and mental rumination.
Support emotional release.
Support nervous system regulation and the resilience to meet the experiences of life.
Support the resolution and integration of traumatic energy and fear.
I don’t fully understand why the breathwork cured my pelvic muscle issue, but I am so glad it did. Maybe the underlying issue was traumatic energy and now that has been released, my pelvic muscles can be relaxed (as they should be) instead of constantly tensed. I can’t thank my friend enough. I don’t think it’s possible to put into words exactly how grateful I am. My life has improved dramatically since my first session and it’s all thanks to Alan Dolan and my good friend.
My experience with breathwork inspired me to learn more about it, and I am now training to become a breathwork facilitator. I am doing my training with Breathing Space. Breathing Space also have free online events throughout the week that anyone can attend, I would love for you to join us. I want to share breathwork with as many people as possible. I want to help people relieve the trauma that is stuck inside, causing havoc within their body. I may have a long way to go but I know I am on the right track.
If you, or someone you know, is struggling with mental health or even physical health issues, give breathwork a try. It’s completely free and it can be done in the comfort of your own home. You never know just how much it might change your life. I am happy to chat to anyone who would like any further advice about breathwork, please reach out to me either on email or Teams.
About Heather Douglas
Heather is a Breathwork Facilitator in Training with Breathing Space, 36 years old and living in Leeds, UK.