this post was first published here: https://medium.com/@rosie.ignacz/what-did-a-5-starbucks-coffee-teach-me-about-my-breath-87f29186a06a

Student Spotlight: Rosie Ignacz

It was one of those days when things didn’t seem to flow quite as effortlessly as I would have liked it. Towards the afternoon, I arrived at Gatwick Airport to take a flight to Berlin, where I was heading for work.

Fighting my way through security, I felt flustered and a bit anxious. Noticed my breathing being shallow and a bit faster than usual. A nice warm cup of coffee will help me relax for the next 2 hours, I thought.

I have this thing, where I need to have my phone charged to 100% before taking a flight, otherwise, I panic that I won’t be able to board without my ticket or contact someone on arrival. It’s funny as I am a flight attendant so I am very used to flying, but still, as a passenger, I have my own “weird manias”.

I knew that Starbucks had charging points, so I headed there. As I stood in front of the counter browsing the current festive menu for coffees and other drinks, I saw a delicious-sounding gingerbread latte with cream on top. So I ordered that when the barista asked me which size I wanted, here I could feel a moment of panic as I remembered Starbucks has these fine size names… “venti, tall, grande…”. So I just said a medium one, please. They asked back a tall or a grande, so I said grande. When it came to the payment, I was charged 5£ for a cup of coffee.

I was in a bit of a shock, and my breath was taken away. I automatically touched my card to the machine, and the 5£ was gone from my bank account. I couldn’t believe that, I just paid this money for only a cup of coffee. I received my order, which was quite the coffee in a big cup, with all the trimmings, yet I felt as if my initial intent with this drink to calm me down, wouldn’t be fulfilled anymore. My whole body was in a state of frustration and felt a bit cheated. And didn’t see the coffee as a joyful moment anymore. Even tho I got what I wanted, but the journey there wasn’t how I expected it.

I sat down quickly, found a charging portal and all felt a bit better. I learnt right there and then, to keep tuning into my breath, and not to make decisions out of a flustered state. Take a few deep breaths every time I feel in a rush or anxious, as the breath is available at any given moment.
After allowing the emotions be present for a little while longer, I decided to enjoy this drink more than I have ever enjoyed any coffee before, and I can tell you that it was divine.

About Rosie

Rosie Ignacz is a Breathing Space Breathwork Facilitator

You can follow her here.