Written By: Barry Ioannou

Most of my adult life was spent drinking and using drugs, not knowing how else to deal with my thoughts and feelings. The drinking and drug use got worse after my partner left in 2016. A prolonged period of bullying at work also contributed to a breakdown in 2017. I was convinced that I couldn't be helped and even said to my brother once “no one can help me Johnny, I'm too far gone”. I felt I was left with two simple choices; take my own life or ask for help. I asked for help and that was the beginning of my healing and getting to know myself, and who I really am.

I spent around 4 years immersed with a spiritual teacher, on retreats, meditating, and felt I had found my new family. I felt that I had finally belonged somewhere. 

August 2023, days away from leaving to work at a Rupert Spira retreat in the beautiful Castello Di Titignano in Italy. I was full of anxiety and mixed emotions about going; I was in the middle of some intense suffering and I wasn't sure if I could cope with the intensity of a ten day retreat whilst also having the sense that it was exactly what I needed at the time.

I did go and I was right; amongst other reasons it was on this retreat where I was introduced to the healing power of the breath.

My friend Simon had offered to guide me through some deep breathing and half way through the retreat we found a spot under a shaded balcony, I layed down and was taken through 4 rounds of the Wim Hoff technique.

The release of emotion, tears and laughter during that 30 minutes was more than all the releases I had in several months of IFS therapy combined.

It also felt like another gateway to the inner stillness that is inherent in all of us, the stillness that we are.

Around December last year, after keeping a daily breathing practice at home I felt I wanted to experience a group breathing session and after researching some retreats, I came across a 4 day Holotropic Breathwork intensive in London, in January, which I booked with little hesitation after a call with the organizer. I now really do feel that I never found this, but rather Holotropic Breathwork found me.

The retreat was a profound experience for me personally. I experienced more emotional release than ever and an opening in myself. I also witnessed this in others which was deeply moving. It was my first tiny glimpse of the Inner Healer residing in all of us.

Being a sitter for the breather was also an incredibly special part of the process and I felt the whole experience was utterly sacred. It felt like I was home.

My first experience of being a sitter was I think the catalyst for me wanting to share breathwork with others and after a couple of months I offered to help support a friend who was facilitating monthly breathwork workshops. It's in these sessions as well as further Holotropic Breathwork sessions I have increasingly felt the desire to share the healing power of the breath with others. 

To have the opportunity to be completely vulnerable and present with other people's vulnerability and openness and to support their experience is a huge privilege and an honour. To witness the change in people even after a short session is deeply touching and nourishing, I cannot think of anywhere else I would rather be. I feel completely at home in these sessions, this is how I know this is right for me. 

While I’m in these sessions I also feel that what is happening is not just personal healing but we are all playing our small part in healing what came before us and what will come after us. 

This is sacred work and I feel I may just have found a small purpose in life.

About Barry: Barry is training to be a breathwork facilitator and lives in London, UK. He is passionate about Holotropic Breathwork and will be sharing his experiences as they unfold.